The Hakurei Hour
by TehGeneiusCirno
Summary: Well, Reimu has decided to host her own show in the hopes of turning a profit...but when her Co-hosts are Yukari, Marisa, and Suika, alot of things can go wrong fast.
1. Brd 1: Testing 1, 2, 3

**_Broadcast #1: Testing 1, 2, 3..._**

It was late in the evening in the mystical land of Gensokyo, in a certain shrine as a certain shrine maiden sat rather uncomfortably on her seat cushion. To her right a drunken little oni-who clearly had one too many- was busy seeing the stars sparkling her glazed eyes; behind her, a lazy youkai who kept pinching her in a very inappropriate manner, and finally there was a magician to her right, who was beginning to wonder why she even agree to this.

A silver haired man sat behind a weird device he called a camera and was signaling the girls of something. The maiden didn't notice and was getting annoyed by the youkai's constant pinching.

One more pinch swore she was going to clean her clock.

The silver haired man sighed and tried to get her attention again but utterly failing, and it seemed as if they were all ignoring him, even the magician who was looking directly at him. He shrugged and began filming.

_*Bam! The miko knocks out the youkai with hard right*_

_Rinnosuke: Reimu!_

_*Reimu turns to the camera*_

_Rinno: We're Live._

_Reimu: Oh,...Um...Hello, to those Outside World and those watching in Gensokyo!_

_*Suika suddenly blocks the camera with her drunken face*_

_Suika: Whoooo~ Hey Yuugi! I'm on tele-*hic*_

_*Reimu quickly drags her out of the way*_

_Reimu: As I was saying...My name is Reimu Hakurei and the is the Hakurei hour!_

_Marisa:And this block of the show is known as...What are we calling the block again, daze?_

_Reimu: *whispers* I don't think this block has a name..._

_Marisa: Ohh...Well I suppose we should tell the people about the other blocks..._

_*A head appears out of thin air, popping out of what seems to be a table in front of Reimu_

_Yukari:Of course~ _

_*Reimu violently shoves Yukari's head back into her portal*_

_Reimu: Yeah, as my co-host has mentioned, there are several blocks in this show, the first block taking place now. In this unnamed block we read fanmail and discuss various topics..._

_Marisa: The next block is The Aya Report! Where our reporter tengu tells us the various happenings goin' on in **Aya Reports!**, daze._

_Yukari: Our next block stars...Tenshi as she reports the weather in **Tenshi on the Weather**! Exciting *monotone*_

_*Suika shouts something completely unintelligible*_

_Reimu: Right...As my other co-host has said after Tenshi's weather report we go on to **Ask Team Nine-Ball.**_

_Marisa: Where four idiots try to answer your questions...to the best of their ability._

_Yukari: Hohoho~ Next up is the medical genius known as Eirin, who attempts to give you helpful advice with your many medical problems or answers to your medical and non-medical questions in...**Dr. Eirin's Advice Corner~ **Bet you can't guess where my hands are viewe-_

_*A blushing Reimu promptly smacks the youkai before she can finish her sentence*_

_Suika: And..Finamly *hic* Sheres Ve Simlight Founddary (**The Midnight Boundary)** gith the rovely...Miss Ran and her co-smost Chen *hic* Wese two...talk about...*hic*..I mean with marious fests...at the shiewer's rekest_

_*Suika spins around for a bit before falling out*_

_Yukari: Oh my I do hope the viewers understand that..._

_Marisa: So...What now, ze?_

_Reimu: I guess we show them the rules for mailing and...we cut off?_

_Marisa: Okay...*ahem*_

_Rules are as follows_

_**Fan Mail**_

_Name (Your name or just Anon):_

_Comment:(Keep it T-rated people)_

_Dare:(Ask the various hosts to do something ridiculous)_

_**Ask Team Nine Ball**_

_Name(Your name or just Anon):_

_Question:(You may make it host specific and ask each host a different question)_

_**Dr Eirin's Advice Corner**_

_Dear Eirin,_

_(Question, Concern goes here)_

_Sincerely, (your name or just Anon)_

_Example_

_Dear Eirin,_

_I'm having a hard time blah blah blah_

_Sincerely, Joe_

_**The Midnight Boundary**_

_Guest(s) Suggestion:_

_Dare: (Yes, You may subject our guest(s) and hosts to your cruel dares)_

_**Main rules**_

_1: Keep it T...(No measurement questions or don't ask 'those questions' either, seriously.)_

_2: Don't be too cruel with the dares, please?_

_3: Don't be so serious about these questions, we're a lax show, if it sounds stupid...We'll still read it!_

_4:Donate...(Not really)_

_5: Add a suggestion or two if you want no one's stopping you_

_Reimu: Good Job, Marisa! Now, Rumia!_

_*Everything darkens until it is pitch black*_

_Yukari: Now guess where my hands are viewers~_

_Marisa: I thought we agreed to keep this T-rated...But I am curious..._

_Reimu: Marisa! Quit encouraging her! Yukari, let me go!_

_Marisa: H-hey now, ze! Don't start grabbing on me!_

_Yukari: But I'm not touching you..._

_Suika: *hic* Honk honk *hic* Squishy magician_

_Marisa: What the hell?_

_Rinnosuke: Good night people...*mumbles*How is this going to last a season?_

* * *

><p><em>Authors Note: Not much comedy yet, though with some reviewsfan mail/ questions/ problems that could change..._

_Hopefully Yukari can keep that perving to a minimum next time FCC might have to get involved..._


	2. Interlude

_**The Hakurei Hour**_

_Interlude – Coffee Break_

Gensokyo, was very beautiful in the summer...considering this year nothing out of the ordinary happened. Yep, No earthquakes, sun showers, etc., etc. But there was one ever present fact.

"Its tooo hot!" The ice fairy groaned as she began to literally melt on the shrine floor.

The maiden herself was more interested in getting these pests from her home, though Cirno did offer some well-needed relief from the heatwave. Reimu laid on the floor in nothing but a light robe and her sarashi, a vein popping slightly as Yukari's upper-half stuck out from a border. She was dressed in a rather...revealing nightgown, smiling slyly as she looked to the 'exposed' maiden.

"Yukari...I really don't have the energy for this...So could-"

"Shame you're not as free-spirited as Ran~" Yukari said coyly as she rested her head on her arms

"So you could get some more perverted delusions?" Reimu replied with scowl

"Exactly~!"

"No thank you!" Reimu growled angrily at the border youkai.

The black magician was sitting in a junky corner of Reimu's room, reading over several books that talked about spells, incantations, and potions. She was dressed down, wearing a simple pair of black short-shorts and white shirt.

"I'm actually beginning to miss Tenshi's antics." Marisa said moving across the room to Reimu and Yukari "Say, you think the Scarlet Devil Mansion might have some decent A/C?"

"Wouldn't doubt it...Which raises the question...WHY ARE YOU ALL IN MY HOUSE TO BEGIN WITH?"

"We're still doing that show thing right?" Cirno asked sweating, or more-so, melting profusely

"Show? What are you talking about..." Reimu asked looking around to her companions confused

"The Hakurei Hour? Ring a bell?~" Yukari asked pulling a single envelope from her border. "We've got some requests."

"I thought that was just a one-shot sort of thing...besides we Rinno to run...that whatchamacallit, Camere?

"Camera, sweety~"

"Riiight." Marisa added as she moved away from Yukari " I guess those kind of things brush off from master to subject."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Yukari asked shocked

Mimicking Yukari, Reimu said "You are a Lolicon, dear~"

"Am not! You're atleast 18..."

"Really? You're a lot older..." Marisa added

"Don't need you're input!" She said tearing up.

"Why exactly are you crying?" Reimu asked finding the energy to sit up

"You loook so beautiful Reimu-" She started as she made a leap for the Shrine Maiden

Rinnosuke entered at that time...wearing his usual attire. A stopped abruptly at the door as he saw the scene before him. Several girls...loosely clothed...glossy from sweat...and then there was Yukari and Reimu. A smaller chest wrapped in sarashi pressing against the much fuller bust of Yukari. He stood for sometime regarding the scene, blood dripping from his nose.

"I think he's broken" Rumia regarded to Cirno as they poked him.

"*ahem* Well, I hope I'm not...um..interrupting something. We have a shoot tonight. An opportunity to test out a few new tools I found..." He said patting on the bag slung over his shoulder before wiping the blood from his nose.

"Get off!" Reimu groaned as she tried to fend off Yukari

"But we need to conserve body heat~"

"Wrong climate for that..." Marisa said reading her book.

* * *

><p><em>This is my...apology I guess for the looooooong wait. I may just turn this into a question blog rather than a full blown 'show'. Anyway, send your comments concerns or questions via border courtesy if Yukari...or just use the comment box below.<em>


	3. Brd 2: Highly Responsive to Dares Pt I

_**The Hakurei Hour**_

_Broadcast 2: Highly Responsive to Dares_

The lights dim, Nitori's doing, and the Rinnosuke signals the start of the camera. With that the show begins and Yukari loudly ripped open the envelope and handed it to Reimu, batting her eyelashes at her. Reimu looked to Yukari moreso annoyed than embarrassed, facepalming some before she began unfolding the letter.

"*ahem* Welcome to the Hakurei Hour...I'm your host?" She asks, "Right?" She added with a whisper.

Rinnosuke nods as he reads a small book titled _News Broadcasting for Dummies._

"You're host, Reimu Hakurei." She finished as she nudged Yukari who was beginning to inch over to her.

"I'm the lovely Yukari~. Reimu's soul-partner and long-time lo-" The youkai said with wide grin before a quick gohei smack cut her off.

"And _unfortunately _Suika is out...hibernating, which is typical for that youkai. And it seems like Marisa is out too...doing whatever it is she does." Reimu commented in a professional manner "So in their place we have Sanae."

"So, I guess this is like that last game you guys did. TD?" Yukari chimed in but she was ignored

"Hello, Outside World. I'm really excited to be doing a show with you guys!" Sanae said happily adjusting her hair some as she looked toward the camera.

"Isn't it odd...having two maidens here? I mean you two are business rivals, right?" Yukari asked.

"Well, you can say we did a little negotiating."

"Hey! Don't you get any funny ideas! This miko is all mine! Especially this piece." Yukari said as she gave Reimu a 'honk-honk' on her rear before she was rightly smacked with a gohei.

"And you see where that gets you." the red miko said setting her gohei down beside her.

"I came mainly because I've always wanted to try my hand at show biz. And besides being from the outside world I know a thing or two about T.V." Sanae continued blushing nervously

"Riiight, Now on to the mailbag...*ahem* Thid letter comes to us from the outside world, from a _fan_ named Lola. It seems the question...is..asking..." Reimu began as she read over the letter, once, twice even six times

"Well, what does it say?" Sanae asked seeing that her reaction to it was all but inspiring.

Reimu composed herself and sighed. A dare is a dare. "Cirno!"

The fairy looked over to the maiden from her spot outside, "What!?" Cirno replied abit annoyed since she was being distracted from her frog freezing. Which, she kept well away from Sanae's view.

"How about a little danmaku duel?" Reimu asked, inwardly ashamed at what was about to occur.

"Huh? Aren't we doing a show-" and Bam! Before Cirno could finish, a small seal smacked the fairy senseless.

"Not really asking, weakling." Reimu replied stepping out of the shrine. Who knew how this fight would end, considering Lola's little dare.

"Fine!" Cirno shouted a bit dizzy.

With that the fairy sent a rather large but ultimately weak ball of ice at Reimu. Surprisingly the maiden did not attempt to dodge. And so, the ball of ice slammed into Reimu causing dozens of shards to fly out. As the icy shards and cool mist settled, Reimu lied face down in the grass. Cirno was filled with surprise but that soon gave way to a new cockiness in the fairy.

"Hah! That'll teach you to mess with the strongest in Gensokyo!" Cirno said with a loud laugh. Team 9, who were nearby looked in awe and began cheering Cirno on. Except for Wriggle, who was at the moment in the hands of a Sunflower Youkai enduring some torture but that is another story for another time.

Reimu slowly got up, as if the attack truly left her powerless, she turned around for a quick second, eyes glancing over the letter.

"*cough* I should've known better...after hearing of Marisa's loss. But now that, you've defeated both of us...you must become the main character and...*cough*...defeat Yukari...A challenge fit for Gensokyo's Strongest." Reimu shouted out though personally she didn't really see why it was necessary.

"Of course! I'll take on that old hag and then the WORLD!" She said hurrying inside to fight Yukari.

Reimu made sure to follow closely behind the headstrong fairy to ensure that the ensuing battle didn't destroy her already disaster-prone shrine. Cirno began charging up one of her more infamous spellcards, _Perfect Freeze_ but before anything could be said or done. A border opened up before the fairy as she rushed toward intentional target Yukari. From there she fell into Yukari's border, which sealed itself up right behind Cirno. Reimu along with everyone else in the room looked to Yukari shocked/confused/amused/relieved.

"I'm glad you managed to keep from wreaking the place." Reimu said smiling unconsciously

"Ahh~ I've managed to make _my_ Reimu smile~" Yukari said happily clasping her hands together.

"*Ahem* I'm not your Reimu."

"Yeah, yeah...You two gonna continue with this UST business or are we gonna continue the show?" Sanae asked more bored than annoyed

"Oh, but its so fun~" Yukari replied giggling

"UST? Ah, Nevermind...Let Cirno out, she still has to do her part in the show." The miko said folding her arms "_Regrettably." _she whispered.

Yukari shifted slightly as Cirno slammed into ground from outside.

She was knocked out, possibly injured but being a fairy and therefore 'immortal' she was going to be just fine. Maybe with a little short term memory loss but otherwise fine.

As the dust settled outside the shrine, Reimu had returned to her seat letting Sanae take the stage for the moment.

"That was pretty nice show you put on there, Reimu. Did you catch that Rinnosuke?" Sanae commented unaware of the fact that she was currently the host and that Reimu was busy fighting off Yukari's touchy hands as they attempted to squeeze her in the most inappropriate of places.

In reply, Rinno shook his head from side to side. And shrugged to Aya who gave a swift thumbs up as she was already typing up a story, blowing it completely out of proportion. Reimu could already see the headline "_**Hakurei Maiden beaten by Cirno?!: Has the miko lost her touch**__?_"

"Well, at least I get paid for this." She said examining her crisp yen note

It was such a beautiful day, or night depending on how you look at it, for the shrine maiden. This was in fact the biggest donation she had ever received since becoming a shrine maiden, if she wasn't planning on buying booze, she just might have posted it up in a fancy frame along her shrine wall.

"Looks like we got a few more notes here." Yukari said digging through a small border much like a purse.

"Good. We'll take care of them...after these brief messages." Reimu said with a bright smile to the camera.

"Wait, break already? But we've barely touched on the starting conversation! And I haven't even done any lines!" Sanae said loudly

"A wise-man once said "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" besides I'm hungry, aren't you hungry, Rinnosuke?" Reimu asked the cameraman.

"Well..." Rinnosuke was about to answer with a simple not really but something in the miko's eyes hinted that it was more than a simple question but more of a 'dire conquences for denying' sort of question. He personally hated those questions but arguing with a woman was useless especially when she knows where you live and has such a...unique history as this shrine maiden, besides she was 'celebrating' her donation after all. "I guess, I'm a little famished..." Rinnosuke said flipping the switch to turn the camera off.

_PART I END_

_**TO BE CONTINUED...**_


	4. Brd 2: Highly Responsive to Dares Pt II

_**The Hakurei Hour**_

_**Broadcast 2 pt II – Highly Responsive to Dares**_

The smell of sake was thick in the air, along with the scent of blossoms, that was the first thing Reimu noticed as she woke up, the second was she was sore from head to toe, quite literally as her toes throbbed painfully and head throbbed madly with faintest light causing shockwaves of pain no danmaku could ever deliver. She was lying in her bed, half-naked as usual, but there was an unusual element here, Yukari Yakumo, who just happened to be naked right beside of her holding her. She blinked a few times as she looked down to the youkai before just kicking her out of the bed, which had no effect on the Youkai but her eyes twitched open as she noticed her hands were not gripping onto something. Reimu ignored the youkai and looked outside and judging by the light outside, she figured it was way past noon, and once she managed to find her way to her dresser, she found it was a little past 4:00 PM (Thank goodness for Rinnosuke's alarm clock)

She groaned and stumbled to the bathroom to relieve herself. As she answered nature's call she looked to her tub and saw Marisa sleeping in it still fully clothed. She poked at her with her Gohei some before leaving the restroom to get dressed. Yukari, now half-dressed laying on the ground.

"You were amazing last night~ Especially when you-"

She tossed a yin-yang orb at the woman, scattering a few P-boxes over the room, and then she carefully stumbled her way into the hall and towards the kitchen, where the tengu, Aya was walking around writing notes.

"Drunken Party at the Hakurei Shrine! Has the maiden become too loose?! Is Rehab required?" Aya said to herself as she jotted the last of her notes.

"You know you were there too..." Reimu said as she vividly remembered the tengu guzzling a few bottles of sake.

"Hehe...Right Well, I'll be sure to keep that off the record."

"Don't count on me doing the same."

Aya sighed erasing her notes, "Well, I suppose I can find another story..."

"Good. Why don't you write on the incidents?"

"Those? That's so 124, Reimu! We need shocking headlines nowadays! Jilted lovers, Cheating spouses, celebrity mishaps! Natural Disasters are boring." Aya said jotting a few new notes in her pad.

"Whatever, you say." Reimu asked moving past the tengu and into the living room of the shrine.

"I got it! 'The Hakurei shrine has received a donation, is this a sign of the end of days?'" Aya blurted out as she quickly left the room.

Reimu shook her head as she looked to Rinnosuke who was sweeping off the 'workstation', all of the bottles, paper, food, and drunkards were tossed out onto the yard as he got ready to begin shooting.

"Isn't it a bit early for this? I mean I've just woken up."

"Not really. I mean unless you want to keep the people waiting? You guys were already out for a while..."

"Really? Damn, I sure know how to throw a celebration."

"So are you ready?"

"Can't it wait? Just a few more moments, this hangover is killing me."

"No, not really. Now or never." Rinnosuke said dragging Cirno in.

"...Fine, do you have the other letters?" Reimu groaned as she tried to straighten her hair out and get her clothes straight.

"Yeah. I've already managed to get Ran and Chen ready, Cirno is asleep but she should be up soon and Suika is on the roof...What about Marisa and Yukari."

"Marisa should be up in a few and Yukari...Well, Yukari is just fine." Reimu chuckled, dusting the top of her table off.

Rinnosuke wasn't really sure if he could trust that laugh but simply nodded as he worked on the camera. At that time Marisa came in, mumbling and yawning with Yukari in tow. The three sat side by side; Marisa relaxing on Reimu and Yukari gripping onto the miko's arm, nuzzling on it.

Rinnosuke gave the signal.

"Welcome back to the Hakurei Hour! With you hosts...Reimu Hakurei."

"Marisa...Uhh, my head."

"And Reimu's one and only soulmate and lifetime-lover, Yukari-"

"Yeah whatever...Anyway lets get back to the show! Before our break it looked like we had a few more letters from the fans." Reimu promptly ripped one open waving it in the air to dry it. "This one comes from Brian, it reads;

'My question is for Reimu. How do you past the time when you're not solving an incident, having parties, cleaning the shrine, or having Yukari...act "close" with you of course.'

Very good question, Brian! Well, I usually go around visiting Rinnosuke or Marisa. Other than that I usually just relax with Suika and do a little bit of flower-viewing."

"And here's an interesting one from Anon~" Yukari cooed, flapping her fan over her mouth "Ahem, it reads; 'Okay, so for Yukari, if you and Reimu were locked in a room together with no means of escape, what would happen?'

Well, Anon, seeing as there would nothing for my Reimu to eat, I would let have her fill on my rather 'delectable' body~ From my thighs to my honey-"

"Let's just stop that right there! There no way I'm 'eating' any part of you!"

"But I have plenty to spare and I assure you I'm quite delicious~"

"No! If I was stuck room with this old hag, there's no way I'd come out with her let alone sane!"

"Are you sure you wouldn't like a little taste?"

"No-Hey! Get that away from me!" Reimu yelled as a gap enveloped her head.

Marisa could only guess where that gap led to. And considering how Yukari was squirming, it was exactly where she thought it was. She sighed as opened a letter addressed to her, the noise of the paper ripping still bothering her in her hungover state.

"Ooh, feels so nice when you struggle~"

"Looks like this letter comes from Katsune, who writes; 'Hi! I'm Katsune and I have a question for Marisa! What would you do if everyone suddenly wanted to be your boy/girlfriend randomly and proclaimed you the sexiest person in all of Gensokyo?'

Honestly, I would more than like go into hiding. Sure there are a few cute people in Gensokyo but having Flandre, Satori, Okuu, Suika, Yukari, Yuuka, Miss Mima, Aya, Yuyuko, Nue, Eiki, Remilia, Sakuya, Hong, Cirno, Rumia, Youmu, Kisume, Kaguya, Eirin, Reisen, Medicine especially Medicine, Mokou, and Shinki asking me on a date would be pretty weird and considering most of the girls listed have mental problems or yandere tendencies, I'm going have to say it would suck. But being called the sexiest in Gensokyo wouldn't be too bad-"

The sound of loud smack interrupted Marisa's answer. She looked to find Yukari beat up and slouched over as Reimu was re-straightening her hair. The miko held the final note of this segment. She ripped it open in annoyance as she let the note slide into her hand. To her surprise it came with the book, the cover was pretty blacked out and wasn't able to make out a title or a picture.

"Okay our final letter to us comes from a fellow by the name of Jaja, he or she wrote;

'For both Yukari and Reimu: How would you react to all the doujinshi made about you two?'

Doujinshi? They're making comics about us?"

Reimu excitedly flipped through the comic in her hand and blinked for a moment as she saw what the pages were depicting...Yukari and her in various positions with excellent detail and a simple but effective story.

"Wow, they already made a sequel?" Yukari exclaimed as she read over the maiden's shoulder.

"Of course you'd know something about this!" Reimu shouted tossing the book at the youkai, who dodged it easily

"How else do you think I learn my techniques?"

"Honestly, I don't want to know, how else you could learn your techniques, ze!" Marisa chimed in.

"It's just porn. Reimu. Nothing to get worked up about."

"Nothing to get worked up about?! I'm a maiden and maiden's aren't supposed to be viewing such things! Lucky, I don't need to wash my eyes!"

"I would gladly lick your eyeballs for you~" Yukari said as she latched onto the girl her tongue swirling around

"What?! No! Get off of me!"

"Riight...I guess that is all folks, thanks for tuning in and stay tuned for, ASK Team Nine-ball, ze."

The camera cuts off and the sounds of shuffling, smacking, and yelling fill the background. When the camera turns back on Rumia is uncomfortably close, her razor-sharp teeth clearly. She hurries back to the rest of the group; Cirno (still sleeping), Wriggle, Mystia, and Daiyousei. Wriggle nudges Cirno, her eyes pop open and she slowly looks around, her lids going down halfway. Wriggle directed Cirno's attention to the camera.

"Is this real life?" Cirno said with a slur.

Wriggle facepalms and simply does it herself.

"Welcome to Ask Team Nine-ball! With your host...urm, Cirno?"

"My head..."

"I think it's best if we make this short." Daiyousei said with the others nodding in the agreement, Cirno yelling a 'Whoo!' out of nowhere.

"A-alright then...First question from Lola, it reads; 'Why are you mistaken for a boy so much? You're so cute! In a world where flying is the norm, it's only natural to wear pants, right?'

Well thanks Lola! to answer your first question, I don't really know. It can't be my hair, can it? Cause Rumia's is short and people don't call her a boy. It can't be my pants either cause Mokou wears pants too! And to answer your other question, Yes! I mean, who would want anyone looking up their dress as they flew?" Wriggle said with a giggle near the last part "Oh, there's more! For Rumia; Is that so?"

"...Huh? What is that suppose to mean?" Rumia asked genuinely confused

Wriggle along with Mystia giggled some at the question and her response.

"You ask that to everybody, so you should know."

"I do not!" Rumia exclaimed blushing.

"No, NO, NO!" Rinnosuke shouted as he tried to push Cirno away from the camera, whose mouth was puffing up, the obvious sign of a drunk ready to hurl.

"CUT!"

The camera shut off and the sounds of arguing and shuffling could be heard in the background as the cast tried to keep Cirno from ruining the miko's carpet, Rumia excluded who was...uh nevermind. But before the sound was cut, there was a large...

***Blergch***


	5. Brd 3: Ice, Ice, Baby Pt I

**The Hakurei Hour**

_**Broadcast 3-Ice, Ice, Baby Part I**_

* * *

><p>It was an autumn night in the land of Gensokyo and as the chilly air whipped about, a small group was starting to set up for an event of some kind. The location, a very generic and run-down shrine. Even in it's semi-dilapidated state, the inside of the shrine was pristine, devoid of any damage but considering the resident miko wasn't out solving incidents, she had a lot of time to tidy up. Inside several figures of varying sizes and ages moved around, trying to preserve what little heat they could without melting on of the residents.<p>

Reimu groaned as she and her friend Marisa moved the table along to get at just the right angle. Yukari, as expected, sat inside of her gap urging the two to move faster and to put their backs into it. Her taunts earned her a death glare from the two as they finished moving the table. Meanwhile Cirno and her small group draped a blue curtain on the wall behind their table. The curtain was decorated with a large red circle with a nine painted inside. Aya, taking over for Rinnosuke, was busy with the technical aspects of the set-up. She handed the hosts their individual letters and a few prompted scripts, written by the camerawoman herself.

Reimu brushed her hair back with her fingers as Aya counted down. As soon as she hit one, Reimu took a quick look around to make sure Yukari was doing anything suspicious.

"H-hello there! Welcome to the Hakurei Hour! I'm your host Reimu Hakurei." Reimu said with a cheap smile on her face.

"I'm Marisa Kirisame, the co-host." Marisa said nonchalantly looking over Aya's notes

"And I'm the one and only Yukari Yakumo~, Reimu-chan's mistress~!" Yukari said before Reimu hit her with a stray danmaku bullet.

"Anyway, onto the latest news...from the Bunbunmaru Paper? Aya, This isn't really the place to plugging your crap!" Reimu said to the tengu behind the camera.

"Come on, This too good of opportunity to waste! How about I give you a percent of my profits?" Aya pleaded

"From you already make? I'd rather remain doing my stint as a poor woman"

"Just one article!"

"Fine..." Reimu replied before clearing her throat "The latest news in Gensokyo, 'A battle of Religions! How does the Myouren Temple stand?'

With rumors spreading of an upcoming battle amongst the religions here in Gensokyo, Investigative...Seriously?"

"Come on, read on."

Reimu simply shook her head and continued "...Investigative Reporter, Aya Shameimaru managed to get an interview with the head of the Myouren Temple, Byakuren Hijiri. In the interview, Byakuren states there is no reason for her temple to fight, after all...she does receive more visitors than both the Hakurei and Moriya shrines. Is it a challenge to these shrines? One can only wait and see..." Reimu finished crumpling up the script

"Well, Now that done let's check that mail...Not much this week but let's hope these hold some interesting requests or questions!" Marisa said sliding one of the letters over to Reimu.

Yukari snacthed up the letter and started to open it, Reimu trying to snatch it away from the youkai but she had already opened it with her gap powers. She unfolded the letter inside ad cleared her throat.

"This letter comes from CoconutPrince, he writes; 'Hey Yukari, I dare you to have hot lesbian sex with Reimu RIGHT NOW. And I don't care if she resists, please have sex with each other ON CAMERA. Oh, and tie Marisa to a chair in the corner of the room.'

My, my...This is an interesting dare!" Yukari said turning to Reimu with the most pervrse grin on her face.

"Don't you dare look at me like that!" Reimu shouted her face crimson red.

"Oh, like what a beast on the prowl...Waiting to pounce~!" Yukari said diving out of her clothing and onto Reimu.

Reimu fiercely tried to fend off the perverted youkai but her gohei and kicks were not effecting the youkai at all anymore. Was she getting stronger or was the miko herself getting weaker? She had no time to answer this question, though as Yukari thrusted her fingers into the miko. Reimu's strength was sapping away, her body growing weaker and her hands...her hands were trapped in one of Yukari's troublesome gaps. Her legs were also stuck in gaps leaving her wide open for the gap hag's assault on her body.

"Aaahhhhhhhh! Please! Stop!" Reimu shrieked as Yukari pushed deep into the maiden's body making her gasp and arch herself into the demon involuntarily. She's trying to keep it down, keep Yukari from getting satisfaction from this cruel stunt but against her will, Reimu was just unable to contain herself. Moans escaped her lips. The floorboards creaked, her legs

Meanwhile, the crew stares on not really knowing how to handle this situation. It wasn't as if the scene was really visible, in the first place. The crew could only see the miko's legs twitch as the older youkai played with her most intimate spots. But the noise was unrestricted, everyone could hear the moans and cries from both parties, Reimu more so than Yukari.

Aya nosebleeds as she continues recording, jotting down notes and commenting to herself how this will be an excellent story for the Bunbunmaru. Cirno was confused and figured the two were fighting as always and went back to sifting through the letters sent to her. Mystia and Wriggle covered their eyes poorly, making just enough space so that they still could see. Rumia looked on with the same ditzy expression she always wore curious if she eat something. Ran looked to a sleeping Chen curious about doing the same, but she was alright with watching the cute neko sleep. Marisa on the other hand found herself strapped, gagged and blindfolded to a chair, and to top off her nose was starting itch.

Yukari smiled brightly as she gazed upon the miko's face, drunk with pleasure. She formed a gap under themselves, causing her and Reimu to slip inside. Silencing the lewd noises that filled the shrine only moments before. And before anyone could react to their sudden and odd vanishing act. They returned fully dressed, though the miko's clothes appear tattered and torn. Yukari snuggled up to Reimu with slight blush on her face. Reimu on the other stared blankly, her face a mix of disgust, embarrassment, and complete shock.

"That was wonderful Reimu~! One of the best dares on this show..." Yukari exclaimed before she noticed the miko was staring at her. "Reimu, now let's not be too hasty!"

The miko glowed with an eerie red aura, the same aura that appeared when she went in search of that celestial that destroyed her shrine. Yukari blanched possibly regretting her decision to go through with that dare. The miko stumbled closer shifting her gohei in between her index and middle fingers aiming it at the youkai as if she was prepared to shoot pool. Yukari knew what her real aim was and that truly frightened her. The next moment was blur to her, next thing she knew Reimu had vanished and then everything went black.

Yukari's scream could be her all across Gensokyo, even in the underground.

Yukari woke up sometime later her body sore all over and Ran looking over her annoyed.

"Mistress, you really need to learn control yourself, especially around this girl." Ran said as she finished bandaging her up and returned to her post with Chen.

Yukari groaned as she sat up, Reimu was calmed down but the way the miko held her gohei made Yukari nervous about teasing the girl. Marisa was untied and chuckling at Yukari's current state. Yukari didn't mind after all she did kind of the deserve it but she did not regret her choice.

"Onto our next question...Hm? It comes from a viewer named YukaRei's my OTP? Whatever, he or she writes,

'Here is my question for my fabulous OTP, Yukari and Reimu (or should Reimu come first; I don't know, Yukari does seem like the dominant one here...But then again, Reimu does enforce much of the physical abuse...But then again, it's not like she doesn't ENJOY the sex...) One night after an intense session of love-making, you two conceive a baby girl. Both of you were unconscious when she was born, so you don't know which one if you she came out of. My question has three parts, so get ready for this:

1) What shall you name your demon-human spawn daughter?

2) Who do you think was the one who gave birth to her?

3) Who, out of all the people in Gensokyo, will you claim the "aunties" of your cute little daughter?' " Reimu stared blankly at the question and she got ready to tear the stupid question up. She heard a baby.

A now unbandaged Yukari was holding a baby girl up, which surprisingly without a doubt looked like Reimu but with short blond hair. Reimu's mouth dropped open as she looked from the note to the baby and back to the note. This wasn't right...How could either of them have a baby in the span of 4 minutes?! Though she admittedly never saw a youkai get pregnant before but how is this possible?

"No, no, no! That is not ours!" Reimu shouted pointing at the demon spawn.

"Yes, it is~ Just look at her cute little face." Yukari said cradling the little one. "Let us answer the questions about this little bundle of joy~"

As much as she hated to admit it, she did have to answer these questions, "...Fine! Let's name her..."

"Wonderful! I think she should be named...Nanako."

"...No, that just sounds generic." Reimu replied annoyed she was having this conversation with someone she just beat the hell out of " Fumi sounds much better."

"How about we let the audience decide on that one..." Yukari said patting the baby on the back.

"Right, Next question...I obviously think it came from Yukari's lecherous body." Reimu said jerking her thumb at Yukari for emphasis.

"I think so too~ Besides I'm the only one with childbearing hips around here." Yukari said with a coy giggle.

"That raises too many questions..."

"Oh, I'm sure you can answer those questions~"

"I'd rather not. Anyway, lets finish this stupid questionnaire."

"Alright, my choices for aunties is obvious~ There's Yuyuko, Ran and Yuuka~!" Yukari said stroking the baby's hair.

"Yuuka?! Is it even a good idea to let Yuuka near kids?!" Reimu asked shocked at her choice.

"Please, Yuuka will able to teach our daughter plenty of things about danmaku." Yukari said with a sagely nod.

"That's if she doesn't eat her! You know how she is!"

"I know she may be rough around the edges, but she loves kids~"

"For varying reasons!"

"Well, if you're done poking holes in my choices, how about you share yours!" Yukari rocking the baby slowly.

"...*sigh*...There's Marisa and that's about the only one I can trust...scratch that, can possibly trust with my kid."

"Aww...Suika seems like a good fit"

"No."

"What about Cirno?"

"Hell NO!"

"Well, I hate to interrupt but it's about time we wrap it up and head to commercial break." Suika said stumbling out of the kitchen. "Oh, is that yours?" She asked pointing to the baby.

"Yes it is!" Yukari replied happily

"Reimu, you sly dog, I didn't think you and Yukari would be at this stage already."

"What's that suppose to mean and where the hell have you been?!"

"Partying, drinking, you know the usual..." Suika replied after taking a swig from her purple gourd.

"Wanna hold it?" Yukari asked handing the baby over to Suika

"Wait a damn minute here!" Reimu shouted hopping up to her feet.

Suika held the baby in her child-like hands, looking it over for a quick moment before poking the baby with a finger from her free hand. The baby groggily grabbed on the oni's finger, clutching it tightly. Suika was almost shocked by the cuteness of it all, until the child twisted it back violently, snapping the oni's finger. Suika pulled her finger away from the kid and looked at it for a moment. She broke out into laughter.

"She just broke my finger! That's pretty amazing!" Suika laughed giving the baby back to Yukari and straightening her finger back out.

Reimu looked shocked at her child wondering what had they just created.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thats that. I was initially worried about the whole sex dare thing, since I wanted to be longer at first but I decided to shorten it seeing as that would have taken up a lot of space and I wanted it to connect to YukaRei's question (I smell spin-off~). So you got the shortened version. Now that I've answered (Most of) YukaRei's questions, I'm curious as to who the man in this relationship would be or considering the context, futa? Meh, we'll save that for another time, Thanks for reading and if you have a suggestion don't be afraid to ask!<strong>_

_**Read & Review Please~**_


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